Jaina Solo Fel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
solo_sword) wrote2010-06-02 05:47 am
solo_sword) wrote2010-06-02 05:47 am
Tatooine- Wednesday Fandom time
The fact that she'd been pulled on for this mission had been a huge relief to Jaina, right up until she saw who was on it. Don't get her wrong, she was happy to spend time with her friends while working, but when she wanted to get away from the mental drama that came with memories from Myrkr, being on a mission with three of the other survivors was not good escapism.
It could have been worse, she supposed. She'd known she would be working with Zekk, since he was the one who had invited her on board. And she loved Lowie and Tesar. She'd worked with them very closely during the war, and in a lot of ways she felt closer to these three than she did any other Jedi. Which was also the problem. Tesar wouldn't get all fluffy on her, but Zekk and Lowie kept giving her concerned looks and asking what was wrong. And then Lowie would stop once she brushed him off enough times, but Zekk was persistent.Just imagine how bad he'd be when he could read every thought in her head.
He found her again in the quarters she was sharing with Lowie, cleaning her blaster before they had to get out anywhere. Blame Gavin for the reason she kept worrying about sand; she knew better, but figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to make sure nothing was going to go wrong. It might even be bad form to bring her blaster on a Jedi mission, but she wasn't taking chances. "I thought I'd find you training some more," he greeted her, taking a seat beside her on the floor.
"Nope. I finished that earlier," she told him, not looking up.
"Yeah, Lowie said you left early," Zekk said. "Are you going to be okay to do this?"
That was just insulting, and now she looked up, glaring. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Come on, Jaina, I've seen how you get when you start pushing yourself. That'd be what, three hours sleep-"
"I'm fine, Zekk," she said, trying not to sound as defensive as she felt.
"I'm just saying, besides worrying, if you're overextending yourself..."
"This is why I like to be the one in charge," Jaina sighed. "I'm the one who gets to decide if I'm overextending myself. I'm fine. I'm not overtired, I learned that lesson at Ebaq 9."
"Would you tell me if you weren't fine?"
No. Never. "Of course."
She could catch the frustration off of him, and she knew he was teetering somewhere between leaving her alone to repress before the mission and giving in and trying one more time. To her dismay, he went for the second option. "What's going on with you, Jaina?"
Maybe she was more tired than she thought, because she almost felt tempted to tell him. She could talk to him, she knew. There were very few people she trusted to tell what was going through her head. John wasn't really an option right now, and what was she going to do if she couldn't talk to him? Never talk to anyone? As much as she liked her repression, she saw that as a flawed plan. But the fact remained, Myrkr hadn't been easy for anyone here. Zekk had been so worried about her going dark and needing to be killed that he'd left rather than watch it happen. She'd dragged Lowie blindly along on her schemes, some of which she hadn't even told him about. Tesar had lost two hatchmates on that worldship... She could talk, but doing so right before a mission and putting that in Zekk's head seemed cruel. Not to mention he might start really doubting her then.
"Later?" she asked finally. She didn't know if she'd want to talk later, or if she'd just avoid him some more, but at least it bought her some time. "I want to keep a certain headspace if Lowie and I are going to be dealing with Hutts all day."
"And not shoot any?" he finished.
Jaina gave him a little lopsided smile. The Hutts were warring with a smuggling ring that had started their base of operations here, and in order to keep them both from killing each other, the Jedi were going to have to take both of them down. She was Princess Leia's daughter. Given how Jabba had gone out, Jaina had requested specifically to deal with the Hutts. It still probably wouldn't do as much good as they were aiming for, but hey, there were times using the family legacy and her parents' reputations worked for her, might as well take advantage of it. "We'll see. All the more reason to keep me in a good mood."
"Okay," Zekk said, giving in. "We're out in half an hour. We'll talk later."
"I'll be ready in half an hour," Jaina said, making no promises about the second part.
[NFB, NFI, I swear I wrote this before reading the book.]
It could have been worse, she supposed. She'd known she would be working with Zekk, since he was the one who had invited her on board. And she loved Lowie and Tesar. She'd worked with them very closely during the war, and in a lot of ways she felt closer to these three than she did any other Jedi. Which was also the problem. Tesar wouldn't get all fluffy on her, but Zekk and Lowie kept giving her concerned looks and asking what was wrong. And then Lowie would stop once she brushed him off enough times, but Zekk was persistent.
He found her again in the quarters she was sharing with Lowie, cleaning her blaster before they had to get out anywhere. Blame Gavin for the reason she kept worrying about sand; she knew better, but figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to make sure nothing was going to go wrong. It might even be bad form to bring her blaster on a Jedi mission, but she wasn't taking chances. "I thought I'd find you training some more," he greeted her, taking a seat beside her on the floor.
"Nope. I finished that earlier," she told him, not looking up.
"Yeah, Lowie said you left early," Zekk said. "Are you going to be okay to do this?"
That was just insulting, and now she looked up, glaring. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Come on, Jaina, I've seen how you get when you start pushing yourself. That'd be what, three hours sleep-"
"I'm fine, Zekk," she said, trying not to sound as defensive as she felt.
"I'm just saying, besides worrying, if you're overextending yourself..."
"This is why I like to be the one in charge," Jaina sighed. "I'm the one who gets to decide if I'm overextending myself. I'm fine. I'm not overtired, I learned that lesson at Ebaq 9."
"Would you tell me if you weren't fine?"
No. Never. "Of course."
She could catch the frustration off of him, and she knew he was teetering somewhere between leaving her alone to repress before the mission and giving in and trying one more time. To her dismay, he went for the second option. "What's going on with you, Jaina?"
Maybe she was more tired than she thought, because she almost felt tempted to tell him. She could talk to him, she knew. There were very few people she trusted to tell what was going through her head. John wasn't really an option right now, and what was she going to do if she couldn't talk to him? Never talk to anyone? As much as she liked her repression, she saw that as a flawed plan. But the fact remained, Myrkr hadn't been easy for anyone here. Zekk had been so worried about her going dark and needing to be killed that he'd left rather than watch it happen. She'd dragged Lowie blindly along on her schemes, some of which she hadn't even told him about. Tesar had lost two hatchmates on that worldship... She could talk, but doing so right before a mission and putting that in Zekk's head seemed cruel. Not to mention he might start really doubting her then.
"Later?" she asked finally. She didn't know if she'd want to talk later, or if she'd just avoid him some more, but at least it bought her some time. "I want to keep a certain headspace if Lowie and I are going to be dealing with Hutts all day."
"And not shoot any?" he finished.
Jaina gave him a little lopsided smile. The Hutts were warring with a smuggling ring that had started their base of operations here, and in order to keep them both from killing each other, the Jedi were going to have to take both of them down. She was Princess Leia's daughter. Given how Jabba had gone out, Jaina had requested specifically to deal with the Hutts. It still probably wouldn't do as much good as they were aiming for, but hey, there were times using the family legacy and her parents' reputations worked for her, might as well take advantage of it. "We'll see. All the more reason to keep me in a good mood."
"Okay," Zekk said, giving in. "We're out in half an hour. We'll talk later."
"I'll be ready in half an hour," Jaina said, making no promises about the second part.
[NFB, NFI, I swear I wrote this before reading the book.]