solo_sword | MCA #6- Thursday all day

When Jaina first arrived four/eleven years ago, she hadn't thought she'd be here this long. At times she'd practically been running for the nearest portal that would take her anywhere but here. So the fact that she was even a little bit upset about leaving Fandom now was kind of a shock to her. She never once thought she'd be leaving here feeling even the slightest bit centered, or thinking that maybe dating shouldn't be off-limits forever (she knew she still wouldn't have time for it but that was not the point), or feeling like she could handle the next few years even knowing what might happen.

She wasn't actually leaving until first thing Friday morning, but she didn't want to be upset when she left. She just wanted to get up and go before she had a chance to think about it. So she sent out an email to let people know today was the last day she'd be around and give them her contact info in case she didn't get to see them, and set about to doing all the last-minute tasks she had to get out of the way. Things like making sure her X-wing and Sneaker were both in working order, cleaning, packing up another box to send off for home because she had too much stuff to take along to fit in said X-wing, wondering how the kriff that had even happened, things like that. In related news, moving was annoying.

A lot of things had changed during Jaina's collective time in Fandom, but one thing definitely didn't: keeping distracted so she didn't have to think was always going to be her default coping mechanism.

[Jaina's last post in Fandom. If you think you got/want to have gotten an email, you did. Totally open with SP during work. *CLINGS*]

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"I'll be in touch," she told him, not bothering to ask how he was doing with all this. "It'll be okay."

That part didn't have much at all to do with just her leaving, no.

For that, he clung harder, not trusting himself to speak.

Jaina let him cling for a while, finally pulling away a bit. "You're my favorite cousin, you know," she said, trying for a little levity.

He smiled. "I have a lot of competition?"

"Yes. I'm sure there's a reality out there somewhere where Mom and Uncle Luke have six siblings and we have twenty cousins now. It counts," she joked.

He laughed, then gave her another another hug. "I don't want to think about Granddad like that. One more kid is enough to gross me out."

She hugged him back and noted, "Rory is really young. There's still plenty of time for them to gross you out more."

"Ewwwww," Ben replied maturely.

"That's what I'm here for," Jaina grinned.

"Even if you're not really here," Ben said softly. "Be careful?"

"I will," she promised. "You too, okay?" Granted, she trusted him to be more careful than her, but it still had to be said.

"I'll be here," he said, smiling. "We'll get some kind of invasion of weirdness and be vaguely traumatized for a week, then forget. You're going places where people die."

"I won't let one of those people be me," she told him. She couldn't; she had stuff to do.

"Try to make sure the other me isn't one either," Ben said softly.

"You have no idea how high that is on my list of priorities," Jaina said, completely serious. That list was pretty long, but the people on it were all adults who were also fully capable of taking care of themselves... and then there was the near-ten-year-old.

"Don't listen to me when I say I can take care of myself," Ben replied.

She paused, not sure if she should ask this, but with that kind of opening. "Ben, is there anything specific I should look for? Any point where, if and when it happens, I just get you out?"

Ben went quiet for a very long time.

"If Boba Fett's daughter dies," he said softly, "start asking some questions."

The surprise of hearing that had to register on her face, and she had plenty of questions to ask already. She also had a very bad feeling about that. "I definitely will," she said with a nod. And because she knew he didn't like talking about all that, she added, "Thanks."

"If it helps, right?" he said, scrubbing his hands through his hair.

"And I am going to do everything I can to make sure it does," she told him.

"That's all I can ask," Ben replied softly.

She smiled wanly, really wishing there was some way for her to make things better now, or to at lease ensure that she could fix everything when the time came. "Take care of yourself, all right, kiddo?"

"Always do," he said, leaning in for another hug.

The way she figured, he could have all the hugs he wanted. "May the Force be with you."

She was having to say that a lot this week.

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momslilassassin - 2011-05-11 20:46 (UTC) - Expand