Jaina Solo Fel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
solo_sword) wrote2010-08-08 07:57 pm
solo_sword) wrote2010-08-08 07:57 pm
Coruscant, 5 years after Fandom
Really, without Raynar leading the Colony, Zekk and Jaina had been un-Joined by the time they left Tenupe and the Swarm War ended, but their Force connection was still pretty strong. And once the dust had settled, that bond almost felt too strong sometimes when you wanted to be left alone with your thoughts.
Jaina and Zekk had spent a day in an infirmary for injuries sustained at Tenupe, and then they were shuttled back to Coruscant, back to their separate quarters in the Jedi temple, left to deal with the aftermath. Still bruised and scraped up, they had gone to see Mara and Jacen in the hospital this morning. They'd both sustained internal injuries fighting Lomi Plo, and even if Jaina was still beyond mad at Jacen, when Anakin had died of internal injuries, it meant she was going to visit her brother in the kriffing hospital, thank you. It was a tense visit, but she thought maybe someday she'd be un-mad at him again. And then it was back to the temple, avoiding everyone looking at them like they were trying to suss out just what they'd heard was true and what wasn't. Jaina and Zekk had ignored it, but she still sent him away, wanting to be alone for a while.
She'd tried to find out what had happened to Jag, but she'd known it was a futile gesture. If the Chiss didn't want her to know something- especially when she'd been helping to lead the opposing end of the battles- she wasn't going to get to know it, end of story. Han and Leia hadn't been able to get answers either, probably in part because they knew it would get back to Jaina. All they knew was that Jag was apparently alive, but his recovery status was considered a classified military secret. She'd begun reminding herself that he had to be okay, that in Ben's time- Fandom's Ben- Jag was around.
That got her thinking more about Ben, though, and started a whole new cycle of missing people from Earth. It had been five years, though, enough time for everyone she knew to have graduated and left. She'd put bets on her grandfather still being around, but otherwise she probably wouldn't know anyone. Still, she couldn't shake the thought of Fandom, and then began looking into that.
Zekk found her in the mess hall of the temple, long after everyone had gone, sitting at a table, completely lost in thought. And as he took the seat across from her, she began, "You already know what I'm thinking."
"I thought you couldn't go back," he said, his way of telling her that yes, yes he did.
"That's what I thought, too," she said, reaching to push the datapad on the table over to him so he could see the information she'd pulled up. "I looked into it. The portal back to Fandom's been working perfectly for quite a while now." It was embarrassing how long, in fact. She wouldn't take back the last year; at the very least, her actions had helped save an entire species from extinction. She'd literally watched an alien species go extinct during the Yuuzhan Vong war. Forgive her for being glad at not letting that happen again, even if one single nest had been evil.
Zekk's eyebrows raised in surprise, and he looked back up at her. "So you're going to do it."
Slowly, Jaina nodded. "It's not permanent. I just need some time."
She caught the sadness through their connection, and knew what it meant. To both of them, it felt like she was sacrificing the bond. She reached to touch his hand, assuring him, "It's not that I'm trying to get away from you. I just need to do something for me," she said, being very careful with her pronouns on purpose right now. And now that she thought about it, she hadn't done a single thing just for herself... well, since she left Fandom, really. Her life was about doing what needed to be done, and not so much about her own personal happiness. "Though I'm sure everyone will stop looking at us as if we're about to unleash a Killik army on them if we spend some time apart."
"That would be nice," he agreed. "You know Master Skywalker might take this as our answer."
Jaina sighed. After he and Han had escaped the Killiks, Luke had reacted to word of the Masters' behavior in his absence by declaring himself Grand Master and putting forth an ultimatum to all the Jedi: if you couldn't put the order before all else, he expected your resignation. They'd lost a few people that way, Danni Quee among them. Tenel Ka, a new mother in addition to being Hapan queen, had had to leave, too. While Jaina wasn't happy about any of it, she understood why Luke felt he had to do it. When you were stuck in a situation like that, sometimes you had to do something drastic, even if it might not ultimately be the right thing. She'd had a problem with other things, though, such as the fact that Tahiri, Lowbacca and Tesar had been banished to Dagobah for warning Raynar's mother of the Jedi's plan. As far as Jaina was concerned, they'd just done what they felt was right. It wasn't really any different than Jaina and Zekk disobeying orders to help the Killiks. She and Luke had gotten into it over that one, and to go back to him now and say she was going to Fandom... It might look wrong.
"It'll be okay," said Jaina. "We're not resigning. We're family, and the Sword of the Jedi. And really-"
"We're just doing what he wants," Zekk continued.
"We're getting our head back together," she nodded, still a little glad that they could talk like that. Of course, she noticed that they talked like that now.
"Just don't yell at him again," Zekk told her.
We could hardly be blamed, Jaina thought. "That's why you need to stay."
"To keep an eye on Jacen." Which was at least part of the reason.
It was maddening. Tahiri had even told Luke about Jacen using the Force on Ben, and Luke simply believed Jacen's reasoning because Ben was responding to him and taking to training finally. Jaina had nothing against Ben learning, but it worried her a lot. Meanwhile Jacen had new influence in the order, he was teaching Luke things that he'd learned in his five years of travel... Jaina still wasn't assuming that Jacen was going to go dark, but with what happened with Ben, and the incident at the supply depot, she wasn't really trusting him. There was still time to maybe change the future if need be, but that didn't mean Jaina wasn't going to be on guard.
"If anything happens, I will be back," Jaina promised. Zekk didn't need to hear it, probably, but she said it anyway.
He nodded, and came around to her side of the table, sitting beside her and leaning his head against hers. "We're going to miss us," he said, and Jaina didn't say anything because she was pretty sure that thought had come from her.
[NFB, NFI, OOC okay. I'm kinda scared at how easy it is to write them. *worries for self*]
Jaina and Zekk had spent a day in an infirmary for injuries sustained at Tenupe, and then they were shuttled back to Coruscant, back to their separate quarters in the Jedi temple, left to deal with the aftermath. Still bruised and scraped up, they had gone to see Mara and Jacen in the hospital this morning. They'd both sustained internal injuries fighting Lomi Plo, and even if Jaina was still beyond mad at Jacen, when Anakin had died of internal injuries, it meant she was going to visit her brother in the kriffing hospital, thank you. It was a tense visit, but she thought maybe someday she'd be un-mad at him again. And then it was back to the temple, avoiding everyone looking at them like they were trying to suss out just what they'd heard was true and what wasn't. Jaina and Zekk had ignored it, but she still sent him away, wanting to be alone for a while.
She'd tried to find out what had happened to Jag, but she'd known it was a futile gesture. If the Chiss didn't want her to know something- especially when she'd been helping to lead the opposing end of the battles- she wasn't going to get to know it, end of story. Han and Leia hadn't been able to get answers either, probably in part because they knew it would get back to Jaina. All they knew was that Jag was apparently alive, but his recovery status was considered a classified military secret. She'd begun reminding herself that he had to be okay, that in Ben's time- Fandom's Ben- Jag was around.
That got her thinking more about Ben, though, and started a whole new cycle of missing people from Earth. It had been five years, though, enough time for everyone she knew to have graduated and left. She'd put bets on her grandfather still being around, but otherwise she probably wouldn't know anyone. Still, she couldn't shake the thought of Fandom, and then began looking into that.
Zekk found her in the mess hall of the temple, long after everyone had gone, sitting at a table, completely lost in thought. And as he took the seat across from her, she began, "You already know what I'm thinking."
"I thought you couldn't go back," he said, his way of telling her that yes, yes he did.
"That's what I thought, too," she said, reaching to push the datapad on the table over to him so he could see the information she'd pulled up. "I looked into it. The portal back to Fandom's been working perfectly for quite a while now." It was embarrassing how long, in fact. She wouldn't take back the last year; at the very least, her actions had helped save an entire species from extinction. She'd literally watched an alien species go extinct during the Yuuzhan Vong war. Forgive her for being glad at not letting that happen again, even if one single nest had been evil.
Zekk's eyebrows raised in surprise, and he looked back up at her. "So you're going to do it."
Slowly, Jaina nodded. "It's not permanent. I just need some time."
She caught the sadness through their connection, and knew what it meant. To both of them, it felt like she was sacrificing the bond. She reached to touch his hand, assuring him, "It's not that I'm trying to get away from you. I just need to do something for me," she said, being very careful with her pronouns on purpose right now. And now that she thought about it, she hadn't done a single thing just for herself... well, since she left Fandom, really. Her life was about doing what needed to be done, and not so much about her own personal happiness. "Though I'm sure everyone will stop looking at us as if we're about to unleash a Killik army on them if we spend some time apart."
"That would be nice," he agreed. "You know Master Skywalker might take this as our answer."
Jaina sighed. After he and Han had escaped the Killiks, Luke had reacted to word of the Masters' behavior in his absence by declaring himself Grand Master and putting forth an ultimatum to all the Jedi: if you couldn't put the order before all else, he expected your resignation. They'd lost a few people that way, Danni Quee among them. Tenel Ka, a new mother in addition to being Hapan queen, had had to leave, too. While Jaina wasn't happy about any of it, she understood why Luke felt he had to do it. When you were stuck in a situation like that, sometimes you had to do something drastic, even if it might not ultimately be the right thing. She'd had a problem with other things, though, such as the fact that Tahiri, Lowbacca and Tesar had been banished to Dagobah for warning Raynar's mother of the Jedi's plan. As far as Jaina was concerned, they'd just done what they felt was right. It wasn't really any different than Jaina and Zekk disobeying orders to help the Killiks. She and Luke had gotten into it over that one, and to go back to him now and say she was going to Fandom... It might look wrong.
"It'll be okay," said Jaina. "We're not resigning. We're family, and the Sword of the Jedi. And really-"
"We're just doing what he wants," Zekk continued.
"We're getting our head back together," she nodded, still a little glad that they could talk like that. Of course, she noticed that they talked like that now.
"Just don't yell at him again," Zekk told her.
We could hardly be blamed, Jaina thought. "That's why you need to stay."
"To keep an eye on Jacen." Which was at least part of the reason.
It was maddening. Tahiri had even told Luke about Jacen using the Force on Ben, and Luke simply believed Jacen's reasoning because Ben was responding to him and taking to training finally. Jaina had nothing against Ben learning, but it worried her a lot. Meanwhile Jacen had new influence in the order, he was teaching Luke things that he'd learned in his five years of travel... Jaina still wasn't assuming that Jacen was going to go dark, but with what happened with Ben, and the incident at the supply depot, she wasn't really trusting him. There was still time to maybe change the future if need be, but that didn't mean Jaina wasn't going to be on guard.
"If anything happens, I will be back," Jaina promised. Zekk didn't need to hear it, probably, but she said it anyway.
He nodded, and came around to her side of the table, sitting beside her and leaning his head against hers. "We're going to miss us," he said, and Jaina didn't say anything because she was pretty sure that thought had come from her.
[NFB, NFI, OOC okay. I'm kinda scared at how easy it is to write them. *worries for self*]