Jaina Solo Fel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
solo_sword) wrote2012-05-24 03:19 pm
solo_sword) wrote2012-05-24 03:19 pm
Hapes- Thursday Fandom time
Jaina hadn't known anything was wrong until a few days later when Luke contacted her wanting to know where Mara was. When he decided to follow her last-known trail towards Hapes, he asked Jaina to go along, feeling that something was wrong.
En route, she felt Mara's life blink out in the Force.
She'd known it would happen. She'd known for years. That still wasn't preparation for it actually happening. Through all of this, even when things had started spiraling out of control, she'd still thought that maybe something in this timeline would be different, that this wouldn't happen. This was one time Jaina really wished she'd been right.
She had time stuck alone in the cockpit of her X-wing before arriving on Hapes, which surprisingly ended up with her crying it out for a while. She was no stranger to death. This was her fourth war now. She'd seen countless people die, and had been the cause of a lot of those deaths. It also meant that the ones closest to her, the Chewbaccas and Anakins and Maras, were losses she felt so much harder.
Jaina managed to compose herself in order to announce her arrival when she got to Hapes and to be directed to the Palace, and by the time she landed she'd been able to wipe the tears away and hopefully look a little more presentable. Her eyes were swollen, but there wasn't anything she could do about that. Just before she shut down, she heard the comm crackle again, and then Tenel Ka's voice came over the speaker. "Jaina?"
"Yeah." Great, it even sounded like she'd been crying.
"Master Skywalker is already here," Tenel Ka told her. "Someone will be there to escort you shortly."
"Thanks."
There was a pause, as if maybe Tenel Ka was trying to figure out if this was the right way to do it, and then she said, "I'm so sorry."
Jaina opened her mouth to reply, but didn't manage to make words come out. And for that reason, she was glad Tenel Ka did it this way, away from each other, because it wasn't that Jaina really cared whether anyone saw that she was upset... other than Luke. The last thing she wanted was to be a complete mess when she saw him.
She very nearly became just that when she got to the stateroom where he was. He was sitting on a large, ornate sofa, and while he was saying something to Tenel Ka, he looked... different. She'd never seen him look this way. It wasn't just sadness, it was something else that broke Jaina's heart, like part of him was just gone.
Protocol said that she should at least greet Tenel Ka, as Queen Mother if not as a friend, but as far as Jaina was concerned they'd already said hello and neither of them had ever been much for protocol anyway. Instead, she went right up to Luke, dropped to her knees, and curled up against him, half-hugging his legs while he stroked her hair. "Still no sign of Ben," he told her. "And I can't even guess where he is."
She knelt back on her heels, looking up at him. "I can't feel him, either, Uncle Luke."
"He'll be okay, sweetheart. I'd know if..." He didn't finish the sentence, probably couldn't right now. They both knew Ben wasn't dead somewhere, but at the moment, it was probably natural to worry.
"Jacen was here earlier," said Tenel Ka after a moment.
The sharpness returned to Jaina's voice at that, and she stood. "What? What do you mean, here?"
"He paid a visit yesterday," she explained. "I don't know where he is now, but-"
"Would Hapan Fleet Ops have logged his vessel's movements? Any scrap of information might help."
Tenel Ka nodded. "I'll have the captain get all the available information for you."
As Tenel Ka left, Jaina kept herself closed off- no need for Luke to be catching any of the things she was feeling- but being mad felt better. It made her feel more like herself, even if she hated the reason for it. Jacen had to have felt Mara's death in the Force. And he'd been here! He'd been right here while Mara was pursuing Lumiya, who he was working with. And even if that didn't raise some questions, he had to have been close enough to know what happened and he didn't come back here for Luke. Though considering what he did to the rest of the family, she knew she shouldn't really be surprised.
Despite her shields being up, her expression apparently said all it needed to. "Don't say it," said Luke.
She said it anyway. "He's a total stranger. There. I had to, or else I'd have an aneurysm trying to stifle the urge to punch him out when he finally bothers to show up."
Luke didn't say anything, just walked over and hugged her. They stayed that way till his comlink buzzed, and he moved away to answer it.
"Hey," came Leia's voice. She'd felt it, too. It was clear by her tone. "We're coming back as fast as we can. I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry."
There was a noise on that end, like Han had had to wrestle the comlink away from his wife. "Kid, you just hang in there. Don't do a thing. Leave it all to us. Is Ben okay?"
"Missing again," Luke replied.
"He'll be fine. Don't you worry. We're coming."
That was about it. There wasn't much to say right now. Luke thumbed off his comlink and put it back in his pocket.
There was a long, very large silence in the room for a while, which was broken when Jaina said, "It's Lumiya." She had to focus, wanted to focus again. She should have listened to Anakin and found some way to kill Lumiya when they found that link between her and Jacen, and she didn't, and now Mara was dead. So they had to get Lumiya, and they were already working on Alema, and as for Jacen...
Well, she was going to focus on Lumiya and Alema. That was all she could handle right now.
"None of us is thinking straight at the moment," Luke said, which was a far cry from him wanting to be the one to go after Lumiya himself. Then again, if Mara'd gone after and... well, there were reasons not to go off to settle a score right now. "Why don't you call... Zekk? Jag? They need to know, too."
That brought another flash of anger in Jaina, though she quickly reminded herself it had nothing to do with Luke. Why did it come down to the boys again? Was she really putting that out there? Were they still competing because she was putting out some sort of signal without knowing it? Mara had thought the same thing. That had been their last conversation ever. Mara had been Jaina's aunt and teacher, a friend and sister and surrogate mother and sometimes all of those things at once, and their last real talk hadn't been about any of that. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd told Mara she loved her. No, they'd argued over whether Jaina was spending too much time worrying about boys. Well, that was over. She'd make sure of it. End of story.
"I'll inform them," she said, "but I'm done with all that personal stuff. I'm concentrating on one thing, and that's making Lumiya pay. If I'm supposed to be the Sword of the Jedi, then I'm taking it seriously, and there's nothing that's worth my time more than this."
The duty captain of the guard that Tenel Ka had set to work came in later with a datapad for Luke. When he hesitated to pick it up, Jaina wordlessly took it and studied it... and got angrier. "You want the short version, Uncle Luke?"
"Up to you."
She summarized for him: Jacen had shown up, followed later by Mara, who asked Ops to keep an eye out for a red spherical ship, which they knew to be a Sith meditation sphere that Ben had had some experience with. What, had there been some kind of Sith meeting in the Hapes System that had been interrupted, right under Tenel Ka's nose? There was no way she'd have let that happen if she knew, even if she and Jacen were friends.
"Jaina," Luke said, listening to the info- and maybe how Jaina sounded reading it. "I think you have to leave this up to me."
Maybe Zekk was right, and she was taking the Sword of the Jedi thing too seriously, because when she heard that, Jaina realized she wanted to be the one to kill Lumiya. Not because of some revenge thing, either, but because... it was in her job description. "What was it you said about none of us thinking straight?" she asked.
"I don't want anyone acting on half the facts."
"What's it going to take, then?" she asked, not sure what he was getting at, exactly.
"She's- she was my wife," Luke said, braving the first use of past tense. "I insist that I handle this myself."
Um. Jaina knew firsthand what could happen to a person when they went off on a vengeance mission, and right now, this was worrying her. "You shouldn't have to."
"I want to. Don't take this from me."
Through a combination of the sudden flash of pain she caught from him, and the way he said it, Jaina actually flinched. She remembered meeting Fandom Ben's Luke after everything had happened. It was the only Luke she'd felt less than comfortable around. He hadn't seemed to know how to deal with her, and she knew some of what he'd been through after Mara's death... It killed her a little to realize that that was probably already happening. She couldn't swoop in and make it all better. She couldn't do that for anybody, least of all him. She just had to trust that he'd be smart enough and Luke enough to get through it.
"Okay, Uncle," she said quietly. "But you just say the word, and I'll be there."
[Warning for offscreen character death and wah. NFB, NFI, OOC okay, especially hugs cuz hitting post was really hard. Most of the dialogue taken from Sacrifice by Karen Traviss, but parts were added and I think I may have ripped a lot of this apart in the name of sense-making.]
En route, she felt Mara's life blink out in the Force.
She'd known it would happen. She'd known for years. That still wasn't preparation for it actually happening. Through all of this, even when things had started spiraling out of control, she'd still thought that maybe something in this timeline would be different, that this wouldn't happen. This was one time Jaina really wished she'd been right.
She had time stuck alone in the cockpit of her X-wing before arriving on Hapes, which surprisingly ended up with her crying it out for a while. She was no stranger to death. This was her fourth war now. She'd seen countless people die, and had been the cause of a lot of those deaths. It also meant that the ones closest to her, the Chewbaccas and Anakins and Maras, were losses she felt so much harder.
Jaina managed to compose herself in order to announce her arrival when she got to Hapes and to be directed to the Palace, and by the time she landed she'd been able to wipe the tears away and hopefully look a little more presentable. Her eyes were swollen, but there wasn't anything she could do about that. Just before she shut down, she heard the comm crackle again, and then Tenel Ka's voice came over the speaker. "Jaina?"
"Yeah." Great, it even sounded like she'd been crying.
"Master Skywalker is already here," Tenel Ka told her. "Someone will be there to escort you shortly."
"Thanks."
There was a pause, as if maybe Tenel Ka was trying to figure out if this was the right way to do it, and then she said, "I'm so sorry."
Jaina opened her mouth to reply, but didn't manage to make words come out. And for that reason, she was glad Tenel Ka did it this way, away from each other, because it wasn't that Jaina really cared whether anyone saw that she was upset... other than Luke. The last thing she wanted was to be a complete mess when she saw him.
She very nearly became just that when she got to the stateroom where he was. He was sitting on a large, ornate sofa, and while he was saying something to Tenel Ka, he looked... different. She'd never seen him look this way. It wasn't just sadness, it was something else that broke Jaina's heart, like part of him was just gone.
Protocol said that she should at least greet Tenel Ka, as Queen Mother if not as a friend, but as far as Jaina was concerned they'd already said hello and neither of them had ever been much for protocol anyway. Instead, she went right up to Luke, dropped to her knees, and curled up against him, half-hugging his legs while he stroked her hair. "Still no sign of Ben," he told her. "And I can't even guess where he is."
She knelt back on her heels, looking up at him. "I can't feel him, either, Uncle Luke."
"He'll be okay, sweetheart. I'd know if..." He didn't finish the sentence, probably couldn't right now. They both knew Ben wasn't dead somewhere, but at the moment, it was probably natural to worry.
"Jacen was here earlier," said Tenel Ka after a moment.
The sharpness returned to Jaina's voice at that, and she stood. "What? What do you mean, here?"
"He paid a visit yesterday," she explained. "I don't know where he is now, but-"
"Would Hapan Fleet Ops have logged his vessel's movements? Any scrap of information might help."
Tenel Ka nodded. "I'll have the captain get all the available information for you."
As Tenel Ka left, Jaina kept herself closed off- no need for Luke to be catching any of the things she was feeling- but being mad felt better. It made her feel more like herself, even if she hated the reason for it. Jacen had to have felt Mara's death in the Force. And he'd been here! He'd been right here while Mara was pursuing Lumiya, who he was working with. And even if that didn't raise some questions, he had to have been close enough to know what happened and he didn't come back here for Luke. Though considering what he did to the rest of the family, she knew she shouldn't really be surprised.
Despite her shields being up, her expression apparently said all it needed to. "Don't say it," said Luke.
She said it anyway. "He's a total stranger. There. I had to, or else I'd have an aneurysm trying to stifle the urge to punch him out when he finally bothers to show up."
Luke didn't say anything, just walked over and hugged her. They stayed that way till his comlink buzzed, and he moved away to answer it.
"Hey," came Leia's voice. She'd felt it, too. It was clear by her tone. "We're coming back as fast as we can. I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry."
There was a noise on that end, like Han had had to wrestle the comlink away from his wife. "Kid, you just hang in there. Don't do a thing. Leave it all to us. Is Ben okay?"
"Missing again," Luke replied.
"He'll be fine. Don't you worry. We're coming."
That was about it. There wasn't much to say right now. Luke thumbed off his comlink and put it back in his pocket.
There was a long, very large silence in the room for a while, which was broken when Jaina said, "It's Lumiya." She had to focus, wanted to focus again. She should have listened to Anakin and found some way to kill Lumiya when they found that link between her and Jacen, and she didn't, and now Mara was dead. So they had to get Lumiya, and they were already working on Alema, and as for Jacen...
Well, she was going to focus on Lumiya and Alema. That was all she could handle right now.
"None of us is thinking straight at the moment," Luke said, which was a far cry from him wanting to be the one to go after Lumiya himself. Then again, if Mara'd gone after and... well, there were reasons not to go off to settle a score right now. "Why don't you call... Zekk? Jag? They need to know, too."
That brought another flash of anger in Jaina, though she quickly reminded herself it had nothing to do with Luke. Why did it come down to the boys again? Was she really putting that out there? Were they still competing because she was putting out some sort of signal without knowing it? Mara had thought the same thing. That had been their last conversation ever. Mara had been Jaina's aunt and teacher, a friend and sister and surrogate mother and sometimes all of those things at once, and their last real talk hadn't been about any of that. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd told Mara she loved her. No, they'd argued over whether Jaina was spending too much time worrying about boys. Well, that was over. She'd make sure of it. End of story.
"I'll inform them," she said, "but I'm done with all that personal stuff. I'm concentrating on one thing, and that's making Lumiya pay. If I'm supposed to be the Sword of the Jedi, then I'm taking it seriously, and there's nothing that's worth my time more than this."
The duty captain of the guard that Tenel Ka had set to work came in later with a datapad for Luke. When he hesitated to pick it up, Jaina wordlessly took it and studied it... and got angrier. "You want the short version, Uncle Luke?"
"Up to you."
She summarized for him: Jacen had shown up, followed later by Mara, who asked Ops to keep an eye out for a red spherical ship, which they knew to be a Sith meditation sphere that Ben had had some experience with. What, had there been some kind of Sith meeting in the Hapes System that had been interrupted, right under Tenel Ka's nose? There was no way she'd have let that happen if she knew, even if she and Jacen were friends.
"Jaina," Luke said, listening to the info- and maybe how Jaina sounded reading it. "I think you have to leave this up to me."
Maybe Zekk was right, and she was taking the Sword of the Jedi thing too seriously, because when she heard that, Jaina realized she wanted to be the one to kill Lumiya. Not because of some revenge thing, either, but because... it was in her job description. "What was it you said about none of us thinking straight?" she asked.
"I don't want anyone acting on half the facts."
"What's it going to take, then?" she asked, not sure what he was getting at, exactly.
"She's- she was my wife," Luke said, braving the first use of past tense. "I insist that I handle this myself."
Um. Jaina knew firsthand what could happen to a person when they went off on a vengeance mission, and right now, this was worrying her. "You shouldn't have to."
"I want to. Don't take this from me."
Through a combination of the sudden flash of pain she caught from him, and the way he said it, Jaina actually flinched. She remembered meeting Fandom Ben's Luke after everything had happened. It was the only Luke she'd felt less than comfortable around. He hadn't seemed to know how to deal with her, and she knew some of what he'd been through after Mara's death... It killed her a little to realize that that was probably already happening. She couldn't swoop in and make it all better. She couldn't do that for anybody, least of all him. She just had to trust that he'd be smart enough and Luke enough to get through it.
"Okay, Uncle," she said quietly. "But you just say the word, and I'll be there."
[Warning for offscreen character death and wah. NFB, NFI, OOC okay, especially hugs cuz hitting post was really hard. Most of the dialogue taken from Sacrifice by Karen Traviss, but parts were added and I think I may have ripped a lot of this apart in the name of sense-making.]
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