Room 313, Thusday evening

[solo_sword]

Jaina was liking June less and less the longer it went on, because that meant it was ending soon. And whenever there was something she didn't want to deal with, she simply didn't, and buried herself in work instead.

There was less work at the moment than there was going through messages, though. It might ctually be time for a visit soon. By the time she got to the one from her parents, she realized she was missing certain people too much not to.


[*CLINGS TO GAME* I am back! Door is cracked open, post is open, and SP warning as I finish up work.]

Comments

[solo_sword]

"Yeah, welcome to my world," Jaina snapped back. "You probably don't know the half of what I've been through the last few years, I don't need anyone's protection to save my little feelings, and I really don't need it when you don't seem to get that the secrecy hurts more and makes me madder than the truth could."

[momslilassassin]

"Fine!" Ben yelled. "Some version of you will grow up to kill your twin brother--will ask to, with your parents backing you up--and my father will say yes! And Tahiri will decide to toss it all away and turn into a Sith kriffing apprentice, spend a good week or so interrogating me, and then try to blow up a planet as good Sith do. But don't worry because it's maybe not your future. It's just what I had to live through. Force knows what possessed me to think you might not want to hear about it."

With that he whirled on his heel and tried to leave the room.

[solo_sword]

"I figured he was dead," said Jaina, not really realizing she said it, even as the rest of the words were still registering.

[momslilassassin]

"There's a galaxy of difference between him being gone and you being the one to end him," Ben said hoarsely, hand on the doorknob and forehead on the cool wood. "I wasn't treating you like a kid. I just didn't want to crush you. The Sword of the Jedi is no gift."

[solo_sword]

"I'm still standing."

Everything was still processing, of course, so very slowly after the fairly horrifying realization that she was glad it was her.

[momslilassassin]

Ben sighed. "Yeah, you're like beskar," he said softly. "Most of us don't do that."

[solo_sword]

It was easy, really. She was so used to bad news, and death, and destruction, word of it sort of hit in some empty place till she could deal with it later if she wanted. If not, she just carried it around with her till she didn't notice it anymore. It wasn't even the numbness. This was sort of dreamlike and weird, because to her, it just wasn't real.

Somewhere, Jaina was probably the PTSD queen.

"It doesn't have to happen like that," she said, still slightly on autopilot. "I'm sorry it had to happen for you, but it doesn't haev to be that way across the board."

[momslilassassin]

Ben was suddenly exhausted. His family could make Ender look emotionally well-adjusted.

"It does if you stop to feel things," he mumbled, then shook his head. "I have to go."

The room was starting to close in on him. He needed air.

[solo_sword]

That first bit earned him a glare, but she wasn't going to stop him. She wouldn't mind some time alone herself.