MHA #-1- Wednesday evening

[solo_sword]

Okay. So. Obviously this week was one of those weeks. The last time this had happened, Jaina was completely fine with it, due to having a boyfriend she could lock herself in a room with for a few days. When you were single and didn't have that option and this all hadn't ended after a few days, it wasn't as fun. It was frustrating. And you might think training might take some of the edge off, but no. It didn't.

She put up with that for two whole days before basically deciding screw it, if she was going to have this little friendly arrangement, this was a very good time to take advantage of it. Which was how she ended up heading over to MHA and knocking on the door of a certain basement apartment and thinking he better be home. And that no one else should be there.

[For he who rents said apartment.]

Comments

[solo_sword]

"Maybe it does," Jaina said, coming over to sit beside him. This was something she really did genuinely want to clarify, though she feared how it would come out. "I spent years of my life with you. I thought I was going to marry you. I think you're why I'm functioning as well as I am and I'm still taking what I can get here. I maybe could have phrased that better. Never think you're not important to me, John."

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

He shook his head again, turning to get that little bit of distance between them. "You shouldn't say that, Jaina."

[solo_sword]

"You don't like it when you think I'm saying you're not important and you don't like it when I say that you are..." She had no idea what to make of that. "Why shouldn't I say it?"

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

For some reason, when John opened his mouth, fully intending to bullshit her, he found himself unable to. "Because I can't ever be the guy you deserve and knowing you're always gonna want something I can't give..." He really preferred the bullshit to the truth telling. "I should be a better person than this. Fuck, why am I saying all this?"

[solo_sword]

Wow. She hadn't expected that. "It's not about what I deserve. I'm not going to have anything I want." Did that ever hurt to say. "And I know you have things you need to work through, just like I have mine. I don't have any expectations here."

She had things she did want, but she didn't feel like she had any right to ask for them when it came to him, for all the reasons she just said.

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

"Right, it's just a booty call." He realized he should've let up on the sarcasm there just a little late.

[solo_sword]

"It could never just be a booty call with you," she told him with a little sigh. She really hoped they didn't get into any territory it'd be too hard to come back from. "But if you don't want more than that from me, like I said, I'll take what I can get here. And if I'm going to be like this for days on end, you're the one I want to see."

Because she'd done the random hookup thing, and it'd just confirmed that it wasn't her thing. With John she never had to question what she just did.

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

She said that like it was okay that he was trying to be on a different page. John didn't trust himself not to say something complicated and unnecessary for where they were in their lives and he smashed his hands against his mouth to halt all words.

[solo_sword]

"I'm terrified I'm going to say something that's going to make you not want to be around me," she said, not sure what to make of that reaction. And yet she was really curious about what he wanted to say. "I'm not trying to turn this into something it's not. I like that I can talk to you, and I wish I could be there for you better than I have been. Plus the sex is great. Can I knock myself unconscious yet so I can stop talking?"

The last part might have been muffled by a facepalm. It was a really needed facepalm.

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

How could John not laugh a little at those words combined with that look on her face when his head snapped up. It was impossible to avoid.

"Why would you do that? I'm enjoying watching you flail." Uh, he didn't mean to be quite so candid there.

[solo_sword]

"You say that now, but just wait till I say something really bad. Though I think the flail would be epic at that point." He was cute when he laughed. For some strange reason she was reminded of that. It helped her not think about what she didn't want to say.

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

"So long as I'm not the one flailing, I can be on board," John admitted. "And shouldn't everything with you be epic? Thought that came with being a superhero and having followers."

[solo_sword]

"I don't have followers anymore, and I'm still not a superhero," Jaina pointed out. "And I don't think it's so much epic as it is a flair for the dramatic."

She frowned at herself. Was that really necessary, self?

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

"You have Zekk," he said a little too quickly.

[solo_sword]

"Zekk's not a follower. He's something else entirely," she said, making a face even as she said it. He had to go here, huh?

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

Apparently so. "I don't know, I bet he's wishing he was in town this week." John seemed keen on pointing her attention far from himself.

[solo_sword]

"Probably, but he still didn't get that far the last time we went through something like this."

That would be Jaina squeezing her eyes shut like she didn't just reference the thing she'd made Zekk promise he would never reference.

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

"Bug thing?" John wondered.

[solo_sword]

"Bug thing," she confirmed, rubbing her forehead, and for some reason she kept talking. "Pheromones and meld and alcohol and we stopped in time. Did you have to bring him up?"

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

"Like, just in time?" It seemed John was taking full advantage of her honesty. "So I was almost right about you two boning?"

[solo_sword]

"No, he didn't even get any clothes off." Which wasn't to say she didn't, and she was looking really uncomfortable about admitting this. "Why are we going here right now?"

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

"Because you'll answer honestly and I like hearing that you shut down that douche. I blame the distinct lack of McKay in my life." Apparently he would answer honestly, too.

[solo_sword]

"I don't get why you need to hear that I told him no. I already told you we never slept together. Save for actual sleeping." He was a decent cuddler.

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

John shrugged, not quite understanding himself. "Right, you went for the scar guy. My mistake."

[solo_sword]

"Don't take it out on them because you didn't want me anymore." She had to put it in the way that would hurt to say, didn't she? Not to mention that was another subject she didn't want to get into. She was definitely mourning the booty call.