you can call me great one

The fact was, Jaina was disturbingly used to spending long stretches of time closed off somewhere with no food or showers while things tried to kill/hurt her. None of that was actually bothering her. She was bothered by things she'd seen in a couple rooms, but she was repressing that by being sort of vaguely worried about her grandfather without exactly knowing why.

But none of that was why there wasn't class today. It was just that once Jaina realized what day it was (why did it feel like Tuesday?), she'd already missed her shift at one job and it was too late to come up with something for today's class with how exhausted she was. Besides, she was sure a lot of people were still either hiding out or passed out. So she sent an email this morning telling her students that class was canceled, but that she'd be in her office if anyone needed her or wanted handwavy private flight shed time. What, shooting could be cathartic.

So she was in her office with coffee, going through messages from home. She could go weeks at a time without being able to contact her family, so they hadn't even noticed she was gone... at least not on their own. Jag had noticed, though, and he'd contacted her parents yesterday, and now she had worried messages from more than a few people. Hopefully 'There was a Fandom thing, I'll explain later' was an acceptable explanation for now...


[Open!]

Jaina wasn't going to the funeral, which she had mixed feelings about. She wanted to be there, for Luke and Ben and her parents, but the same little part of her that had tried to skip out on her own brother's funeral just wanted to get away. That wasn't why she was missing it, though. After killing Lumiya and learning afterwards that there was no way that she could have killed Mara, Luke gave the task force new orders to find Alema, because she had to have done it.

Alema had to be found, yes. She was a threat, a Dark Jedi, and crazy as all get out. But the trail didn't make sense, and while Jaina couldn't voice or even admit to herself what she feared... she knew deep down that Alema was no real match for Mara.

Between that and the thought that she had to buckle down and be (even more) serious about what they were headed into, she'd had a little Talk with Jag and Zekk when she told them what happened. She would like to say that she handled it like a mature adult, but in reality she'd snapped something like "I'm not sleeping with anyone and that's final." Then they'd sat down and decided as a slightly uncomfortable team what their game plan was, which meant leaving immediately.

She had a few hours on Coruscant now. She'd made time to find Ben already, before calling the one in Fandom. It wasn't long enough, but she'd really felt the need to reassure him that it'd be all right, and that he'd be all right, because she knew he would, and he knew she knew. And then she had just enough time to regroup and pack up for another trip that would take an undetermined amount of time and head on out.

She was starting to feel like a pro at that.


[Open, as this is the last chance to talk to her for a bit. Not that she knows this yet.]

Zekk's surgery was taking a while. While Jacen had gone to the Anakin and Luke and Mara had taken Ben back to Coruscant immediately, Jaina was staying on Hapes till Zekk was released to go back to Coruscant as well. She told herself staying in the waiting area just meant she could be alone, away from everyone. She was beyond mad at Jacen, she was mad at Ben and scared for him and wondering if kidnapping him for deprogramming wasn't an option, mad at Mara for not putting a stop to things before, mad at Tenel Ka for standing up for Jacen, trying to figure out what might not get Mara killed, worried about Zekk...

And selfishly, that old fear was creeping back. That fear that said that even if she was left standing at the end of all of this, there wouldn't have anyone or anything else left.

Not that she was going to voice that concern to anyone, and so she was turning to distraction by checking her messages to see what she'd missed since boarding Rover. Days old message from Fandom's Ben saying May the fourth be with her (which, fine, got a smile out of her), a couple messages from her Tahiri wondering why Jaina kept calling her so much...

Returning that message took all of thirty seconds without an answer, and then Jaina was left with nothing but her thoughts again, and deciding she had to come up with a hobby for times like this.


[I am off to the Avengers for a bit, but totally open for calls, texts, emails, etc.]

Okay. So. Obviously this week was one of those weeks. The last time this had happened, Jaina was completely fine with it, due to having a boyfriend she could lock herself in a room with for a few days. When you were single and didn't have that option and this all hadn't ended after a few days, it wasn't as fun. It was frustrating. And you might think training might take some of the edge off, but no. It didn't.

She put up with that for two whole days before basically deciding screw it, if she was going to have this little friendly arrangement, this was a very good time to take advantage of it. Which was how she ended up heading over to MHA and knocking on the door of a certain basement apartment and thinking he better be home. And that no one else should be there.

[For he who rents said apartment.]

Having finally gotten back onto a normal sleeping schedule almost just in time to mess it all up again, Jaina was up early and getting ready to head down to the gym for a bit when the thought hit her, completely out of nowhere as she was doing something as simple as pulling her hair back into a braid: she'd just gone three days without a nightmare. Or at least, she hadn't remembered it, and that made this the longest stretch of time without since it'd started.

Oddly, she sort of felt guilty about it. Like now that she knew what had been happening with her the last few weeks, she shouldn't be getting over everything.

No, she corrected herself. You didn't get over watching your little brother die. And there was really no need to feel bad about the fact that she didn't seem to be constantly subconsciously reliving it now. Logically she knew this, of course, but it might take a bit to sink in.

Shaking it off, because it was way too early for this, she finished pulling her hair back and set off to work some of this out.


[Establishy.]

Really, Jaina thought, if anyone still needed proof that she wasn't going to just slip back over to the dark side, the fact that she hadn't killed everyone in a rage yet should have been enough.

After leaving her grandfather's office, she both wanted to keep herself busy and do nothing at the same time. So she caught up on radio broadcasts (and was she ever glad she hadn't heard that part about Mara on radio, wow did she not think family death announcements belonged there), and then started making arrangements to go back to Twin Suns for a little bit. You know, where things were normal, if violent and death-filled. And then she called Mara, because she had to. Ben's reality wasn't hers, her Mara was fine, see?

And once she was done with that, she busied herself with going over a datapad when she was really just wanting to get out of here already.


[Mostly establishy, but the door's cracked open if anyone wants to poke their head in.]